S2E1: An Unfiltered Relaunch into Authentic Leadership

In this episode of 'That's So Unprofessional, Dr. Lee returns after an 12-month hiatus. 

She discusses the journey of pausing and rebranding the podcast, dealing with personal and professional challenges, and discovering a deeper level of self-expression and authenticity. 

She explores her multicultural heritage, struggles with identity, and the impact of neurodiversity on her perception of language and patterns. 

The focus of the revived podcast is on promoting genuine human experience in professional settings by encouraging full self-expression and tackling topics often deemed unprofessional. 

The episode highlights the significance of being true to oneself in all areas of life and previews future discussions with guests who have faced similar challenges.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Revival

00:12 Challenges and Growth Over 18 Months

01:54 Personal and Professional Struggles

04:35 Identity and Self-Expression

07:17 Neurodiversity and Language Sensitivity

09:29 Embracing Authenticity and Vulnerability

12:04 New Podcast Focus and Future Plans

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This podcast is hosted by Dr. Lee C. Cordell.

As founder of The Institute for Trauma Recovery & Regulation, she delivers innovative corporate training and consulting that makes complex neuroscience accessible and actionable.

Her methodology helps leaders and teams understand how nervous system regulation directly impacts workplace dynamics, decision-making, and organizational success.

Dr. Lee partners with businesses and organizations through executive consulting, workplace training programs, and dynamic speaking engagements.

Her mission is to revolutionize how leaders and their companies approach stress, collaboration, and team resilience through the lens of nervous system regulation.

Join her in these spaces:

Website

YouTube

LinkedIn

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Have you been moved by what you heard in this week's episode of That's so Unprofessional? If so, Dr. Lee invites you to leave an honest review of how this episode impacted you. Also, share this podcast with a friend!

That's So Unprofessional's intro, outro and transition music is named Funky Moves...

Transcript

That's So Unprofessional Podcast Episode 1

[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to this week's episode of That's So Unprofessional. I am really excited because we are picking this podcast back up. 

[00:00:10] So it has been, oh my goodness. 18 months and the journey has looked like stopping and pausing the Becoming Trauma Informed podcast after season four and then going through and developing this That's So Unprofessional podcast and getting the branding and getting the intro and the trailer and recording several episodes with guests and then going through like the 18 toughest months of my life.

[00:00:37] Maybe not the toughest of my life, but pretty significantly tough. Months of growth and of really, like, just being willing to be in it and, you know, right at the beginning of those 18 months, I had been praying and, really journaling and leaning into, what does it look like if I release everything in my life that is no longer supporting me?

[00:00:57] What if I am committed to clearing out, releasing, no longer being willing to be in relationship with anything that is causing me harm, or that leads me to cause others harm. That leads me to feel shame or leads me to do things that, incite or induce shame in other people.

[00:01:16] Like, how do I really just clean up my side of the street? And also, how do I not keep letting people throw trash on my side of the street, right? Like, how do I let people who are, saying, I'm bad, I'm wrong, things on my side are messy and dirty or whatever, and I'm really looking around going, okay, I see that that's what you feel, and also, I don't see that.

[00:01:38] And I don't agree with that. 

[00:01:40] So we paused the Becoming Trauma Informed podcast. I started the That's So Unprofessional podcast. We got about six episodes in and like so much stuff fell apart in the most incredible and also painful and confusing and weird ways.

[00:01:54] So our team completely turned over, we had half of our, team leave, and then we had new humans come in, I had an experience of, like, really going, oh my gosh, a significant amount of where I'm making the money, where I am calling in the money is not how I want to be making money. 

[00:02:11] I found out that I was overextending myself in a bunch of places. I got sick, a lot of things were happening. And so we paused the That's So Unprofessional podcast, this podcast, and after a few months of kind of cleaning things up.

[00:02:26] Then we went, okay, well, let's restart the Becoming Trauma Informed podcast and TLC and I will do it together. My husband, TLC, he's our chief ops operator now. At the time, we hadn't really defined his role yet. 

[00:02:37] And so, we started recording podcast episodes, but we were noticing that it was really tough for us to, like, stay accountable. And it was tough for us, like, we were working through a lot of stuff as husband and wife and as parents and as friends and figuring out how we were going to be connected from a CEO, COO perspective. There was so much going on in the back end that it was tough for us to record podcast episodes because we were trying to like, establish our roles and establish the new containers and boundaries around how we were going to be showing up.

[00:03:11] So we just stopped recording. We were planning on doing it each and every week, we would stop for a month and then we'd start and we'd do one and we'd be like, okay, now we're back on track and then we'd stop for a month and then we'd start and it just really felt out of alignment for both of us. We knew we wanted to be doing podcast episodes together. I knew a podcast was important to me. 

[00:03:29] And so then I tried a telegram, a paid telegram space called the C State, and that felt good for, I don't know, maybe two, three weeks. And then that didn't really feel like it was working. 

[00:03:41] Meanwhile, we went viral on TikTok several times, and I was noticing that I wanted to move off of Facebook, because Facebook was starting to feel super dysregulating, and I've never really been into Instagram. When we had somebody helping with marketing, they would put stuff up on Instagram. I forget, Instagram exists. 

[00:03:59] So it was this experience of like trying a bunch of things, going through a bunch of releasing and change and you know, just like at times it felt like throwing spaghetti at a wall at times it felt almost like when you decide that something can no longer be structured the way that it is, and you decide to kind of strip it down to the bare bones, and you're like, there's dust everywhere, there's stuff everywhere, this doesn't even look remotely like what it used to look like, and yet it does in a way, and I can see what I want it to look like.

[00:04:35] So in these last several months, one of the things that had been becoming glaringly apparent Is that a big place for me that I was needing to grow in order for our Institute to grow in order to really figure out how we wanted to be talking to people moving forward was around my own self expression and authenticity.

[00:04:57] So for those of you who don't know my background, I am a multiracial human. My mom is white. My dad is what when I was little. You know, we talked about him being black, but my dad is lighter skinned. My dad's entire family is lighter skinned. And as I grew up and, several years ago, we found out dad's not just black.

[00:05:19] Dad is black and white, which makes sense because his family was, you know, African descended as slaves. And a lot of times, non consensual things happened from a slavery perspective with slave owners. And there was also a significant Percentage of indigenous heritage and we found out that, great, great, great some several greats.

[00:05:38] Grandmother was, 100 percent indigenous and decided to identify as black in order to literally save her own life and to save her family's lives. So I share all that because I grew up as a light skinned biracial human in the 80s and didn't have practically anybody who looked like me. 

[00:05:56] Everybody who was biracial. Or multiracial that I knew had darker skin. And so, a lot of struggles around identity, a lot of struggles around what it meant to be professional when I knew that based on what I had learned about, you know, racism and sexism and marginalization and oppression and a lot of things, a lot of the messages I got growing up was, you know, you're going to have a harder time if you are black, if you are biracial and That not always necessarily being my experience because a lot of times I passed as white.

[00:06:32] So having this kind of like both and in between experience of I am these things but sometimes I don't feel like I'm these things. Having the indigenous piece kind of come in there later on and go, okay, well I definitely don't feel like I identify with that. And also that's like a significant percentage of heritage.

[00:06:50] So what does that mean? And having that experience. And really coming to terms with that as I got older was something that I still had a significant amount of trauma recovery to do in regards to. 

[00:07:08] So I would say that the last five to six years has been a very big piece, but especially these last 18 months, especially , in the political landscape that we're in today. So that was one part. 

[00:07:17] The other part in the last 18 months is that, I realized that from a neurodiversity perspective, there was some stuff going on. And so when I had gone through a significant amount of trauma recovery and then I realized, okay, the way I see the world and the way that I process the world, the way that I interact with the world is very different than the way that a lot of other people do.

[00:07:44] And one of the big things that comes up for me is I see a lot of patterns and I really connect a lot with language and words. I'm big on etymology. 

[00:07:55] So when people use language in ways to try to control other people, that is something that literally, and I've tried to put this into words, many times. When people use language to try to control other people. I can viscerally sense that in my body. 

[00:08:13] I can sense when people use a word that they don't mean, like they actually mean to use a different word. I can sense in my body when people say something that is not in full alignment. They think they think that, but they don't. 

[00:08:27] I can sense when people are, again, using language. From a weaponizing perspective, and this has been something that's been really tough for me to own and to express and to talk about, and I think it is why I started struggling around podcasting and it is why I really struggled with, being on Facebook and it is why I needed to be able to kind of clearly express myself on TikTok and in some other places and be met with a good amount of shame and also a good amount of acceptance and a good amount of like, Not even acceptance, but hey, I, I appreciate the fact that you are willing to say things that you are hearing and you're calling out as like, Hmm, is that true though?

[00:09:13] Is that the truth? Is that really what you believe? Is that really what we all believe? Is that really what we should be going with as the definition for that word? Is that the definition of that word? This is something that I've been really, starting to feel safer talking about more in other places.

[00:09:29] I realized that there was a new level of authenticity and there was a new level of vulnerability and I have been blessed to the entire past 18 months be working with clients who kind of actually led the charge on this, who showed me, And what I helped them do, whether it was something that was in alignment with what I believed or not, what I helped them do was to get into full alignment with their beliefs, with their desires, with their goals.

[00:10:00] And it was honestly, a fascinating process because as my clients started to be able to speak easier, I was running a program called Speak Easy at one point, as my clients became able to speak easier, more easily around their truth and their authenticity. As I was helping people over and over come to this place of like really grounded self awareness and regulation in a self centered way and not self centered from the perspective of self absorbed, but self centered like they know who they are at their core and other people's judgments, perceptions, evaluations, pedestalizations, demonizations, invalidations, all those things, like doesn't, it doesn't move them.

[00:10:49] It doesn't change who they know they are at their core. Watching a bunch of my clients do this and helping my clients do this. I went, Oh, I'm not quite there. And that's my step. That's my next step. 

[00:11:04] So the last month or so has been really leaning into what does it look like if I am truly not afraid, if I am truly regulated around allowing other people to judge me. Allowing other people to perceive me however they perceive me. Allowing people to see me the way they see me. Judge me the way they judge me. Evaluate me the way they evaluate me. 

[00:11:26] Um, People to call my education into question. People to call my professionalism into question. People to call my viewpoints or my perspectives into question.

[00:11:35] People saying mean things about how I look. How I sound, how I talk, how I think, and so I am resurrecting this podcast because I now feel 100 percent ready to say things that other people might deem as unprofessional, and I not only want to focus in on saying things that are unprofessional or, you know, just saying whatever I want to say and letting people judge.

[00:12:04] What I want to focus in on with this podcast is really showing people that there are so many places in our society today that we restrict and constrict and shame and blame people and ask them to not be whole humans. Because of their professions, because of their work, because of who we say, if you are this type of profession, you can't think this.

[00:12:34] If you are this type of person, you can't be this type of worker. And I think that having these conversations around topics that are off the table, they're off limits, topics that are taboo or things that, you know, we really shouldn't be discussing if we are professional humans and also talking about how we create and foster this lack of authenticity and this lack of integrity in workspaces and in leadership by asking people to, for the sake of professionalism, not be their full selves.

[00:13:11] So this podcast is going to be about how do you be your full self at work? How do you not cut off pieces and parts of yourself? That doesn't mean that you show everybody everything. It just means that if people from 10 spaces in your life got together in a room and they started talking about you, , they wouldn't be surprised, right?

[00:13:33] You wouldn't be worried about what they would say to each other because you show up as yourself in all of those spaces. 

[00:13:42] And your co workers from work versus the people that you play pool with down at the local pub, they're not going to be like, oh my gosh, these are two completely different people.

[00:13:52] This is going to be about self expression. This is going to be about authenticity. And it's going to be me actively practicing and walking the talk of this process, and it's also going to be me talking to other humans who help people do this. 

[00:14:07] It's going to be me bringing people on who have experienced what it's like to be shamed or blamed or restricted or constricted in order to be able to stay in the work that they do and who feel like they can't really be their full selves at work.

[00:14:21] It's, talking to people who feel like they can't, bring their home lives into work or their work lives into home, people who really struggle with this sense of like, if people really knew who I was at work, or if people really knew who I was at home, they wouldn't love me, they wouldn't accept me. They would judge me. 

[00:14:39] So that is going to be the new focus of the podcast. And I'm really excited to do episodes on this. I am really excited to get into a lot of the things that I have been seeing over the last, you know, several decades. And also particularly a few of the topics that have come up over the last 18 months.

[00:14:58] So if that sounds like something that's interesting to you, Stick around. If there is a specific topic or question that you would like me to talk about or answer, there's going to be a form in the show notes that you can fill out. It can be anonymous if you want. I will address those things on the show.

[00:15:15] If you're interested in being a guest on the show, we'll make available for you in the upcoming weeks. A process for you to be able to apply to be a guest on the show. 

[00:15:24] And, if you think that this would be beneficial for anyone in your life. We really appreciate you sharing .

[00:15:29] and TLC, my husband, one of the other nice pieces about this is that he's going to be on here probably every three to four episodes, and we're going to be talking about some of the stuff that we're seeing at the Institute, and some of the things that we are seeing out in life in general, and how, We are noticing the connection to professionalism and to, this restriction and constriction of who we are at work versus who we are outside of work.

[00:15:56] So, I love you all. I'm excited to get to connect with you further on here. And, yeah, till next episode.